Christmas!

We had this family picture made about two weeks before Christmas. It took four adults and one photographer to get all the babies posed right. Family friend Tonya juggled little twins back and forth to help pose them, and sil Lavina made sure Matilda's dress and my hair looked right. We actually broke a sweat this was so stressful. But the resulting photograph for our efforts is lovely! My dads scan isn't so great...



My mother found some Christmas spirit and she and her sisters celebrated at my 87 year old Grandmas home for Christmas Eve. My grandma has the coziest home, and I was sad to not be there with them. Its a tiny little house that my grandfather purchased in the 1950's. My mother likes to scare my nephew by telling him all about how poor they were growing up. She doesn't quite grasp that to a 17 year old boy in this age, hearing that your grandma shared a full size bed with two of her three sisters and that they fought each night over whose feet the cat slept on (to prevent frostbite, no less) is as ridiculous as a distant relative of my moms telling her when they used to rub sticks together to create FIRE. Or me telling my own grandchildren one day that televisions used to be as large as kitchen stoves and just as heavy and how at one time we only had 13 channels on ours (gasp!). But, I digress. My grandmas house is full of Christmas Cheer. She has snoring santas, dancing Elvis dolls, a faux fireplace with a mantel she enjoys decorating, a small tree and a cement goose that wears her own holiday dress on her front porch. The house is literally a festival for young eyes and it makes me sad that my children missed it.

When I was a little girl my favorite Christmas decoration at my grandmas house was a small glittery gold bell with a piece of holly glued to it and a matching gold cord with a ball attached. For as long as I can remember, the ball on the end of the cord still had its plastic wrapping on it. When you pulled the string down from the bell, it would play a nice holiday melody and it continued to play until the cording was slowly pulled back inside the bell. The music sounded like the clanking of wind up Victorian music boxes. The bell was hung in the door frame of my grandmas kitchen and children under 4 feet tall couldn't reach it. My paw-paw and my father were delegated as the adults who lifted grandchildren up to the bell to pull the string. I know that sometimes my sister and I would be lifted up into the air 25 times to yank on that cord and listen to the music and watch mesmerized as the cord slowly withdrew from our grasp and back inside of the bell. My dad would smile at my sister and I, that something so simple gave us such joy. It was the first thing I looked for at my grandparents home every Christmas Eve. Eventually we were tall enough to reach the cord on our own, and similarly, lost interest in the bell. However as an adult, I now look for this bell every year at my grandmas, but for now it has been put away and no one remembers where.

I hope I can create some sort of magic for my own children at Christmas. Although, I don't know that I have to... it seems to me that holiday magic seeks out children on its own, and that its the children- who having discovered it- share this magic with adults at Christmas. I believe this is the reason why people say "Christmas is for children" when in truth Christmas is for everyone (it is a birth story, after all). Because children are best able to appreciate the glimmer of lights on a tree, candy cane shaped cookies, the story of Santa, and a little melody from a dime store glittered bell. When we as adults are around children during the holidays, we get a glimpse into our own Holiday pasts and see Christmas through our eyes as children again. I think this is why my dad gave Lucas a radio flyer wagon for Christmas. He has been as excited over the wagon as if it were his very own, and makes me believe there must of been a very special wagon in his childhood. Its nice that he and my sons will be able to share this memory together oneday. Matilda will probably sully their wagon with dollies and play pretties.

We had a small dinner here on Christmas Day. I have to say that at this age, Lucas and Matilda really don't grasp "Santa". But, they did enjoy having company and Matilda danced and sang, and Lucas tried to escape the playroom every chance he could. And I enjoyed having a big family to share our holiday with. My sister was here for the week, and the kids enjoyed her extended visit. We were not welcome at my husbands parents home for Christmas as usual, but it matters less and less when I realize that our family is each other, not the drama that is going on around us.

Hard to keep up!

I thought I would share some recent pictures of the babies.

I was trying to get a closeup of Tillys GREEN eyes. They are hazel "green brown" and unless she is in the sunlight, noone can see the green. She has lovely eyes and they will probably continue to darken and eventually be brown, so I wanted to capture them "green" while I could.



Lucas wanted in on the pictures, too. Notice he has a new hairdo? Duane says he looks like a Friar. Heh.



Rowan and Ewan have blue eyes still. Rowan has the prettiest shape to his face and always has a very gentle expression!




Here are a series of pictures we took trying out their Christmas outfits before we had their professional pictures taken.






Ewan and Rowan are very happy and nearly four months old! Colic is long gone, and they only get up once at night to eat now. They are so content. And Ewan squeals! Its the same high pitch shrill tone that Tilly is able to capture (I had a playdate at my house last week and three moms sat stunned into silence when she let out one of her infamous squeals!). I am a bit intimadated at the idea of having TWO babies who sound like gym whistles!



Lucas sure loves pacis! Here he is trying to stick FOUR in his mouth at once!

Sentimental time of year

This is from the home we sold- the empire fireplaces were gorgeous!

I just noticed it has been two weeks since I updated, which means it has also been two weeks since I visited my friends blogs. :-\

This is my very favorite time of year. I am a sap for all of the "made for t.v." Christmas movies, although granted, have less time this year to savor them as I have in years past. Instead I am savoring my moments with my family, and enjoying the little times of quiet and solitude as they become available.

Something has happened in my family that makes me sad. They have lost Christmas. Only one of my mothers sisters is "keeping Christmas" and its spirit of family and generosity. The others are all bogged down in family problems, health crises, and everyday mundane tasks and either can not or *will not* take the time to honor and appreciate what we have been blessed with- the family ties that we should be working to hold dear. By the same token, only one of Duanes sisters is keeping Christmas as well. Not to imply they aren't exchanging gifts. No! Everyone exchanged gifts and signs up for gift swaps, etc. I am not speaking about presents. I am speaking about the gathering together of loved ones to celebrate family and friendships. The warmth and cherishing the Christmas of yesteryear, while creating new memories for others to come to celebrate and remember fondly later on.

No one grasped this as much as my dear friend Eleanor Chapman.

Eleanor and her husband Gerald lived next door to my duplex apartment in the middle 90's. They were in their middle 80's, and she and I became friends when our dogs became friends. I began walking their small terrier, Lady, when I would walk my shihtzu Smitty, and afterwards she and her husband would invite me to dinner or to a long chat on her screened front porch. I was new to the town and the neighborhood, and appreciated being adopted by them as my surrogate family. I believe they appreciated my friendship in return, as I never tire of listening to an elderly persons stories of their youth, and enjoy looking at their photo albums and listening to them fondly relate about their children, grand children and great grandchildren.

Eleanor and I went to lunch usually about once a month. She had only learned to drive at the age of 80, and would joke that she was able to pass her drivers test because she made a promise to God to never exceed the speed limit. Nor did she! Cars passed us on the left and on the right, and she would smile and laugh and say "God told me 'Eleanor, you go one mile over the speed limit, and you are on your own!'" She took this warning to heart, and made sure to never come within 15 miles of the limit, incase she should accidentally pass it and be left without a co-pilot. After one of these loooong drives to lunch, we decided to get takeout and eat at her house with Gerald. When the order came through, she slapped my hand as I gave her the 2 cents over the dollar amount. She said "Thats alot of change!"

When we returned to her house, she showed me her jar of change. All year round, she would save every bit of quarters, dimes, nickels and even pennies left over from any expense and add it once a month to her Christmas Club at her bank. Having an entire 98 cents was alot of coin to add to her jar, and she forbade me to tell Gerald that I had offered her two cents instead.

She started wrapping her gifts in October. Everyone had multiple gifts in their large family, and all of them purchased on a senior citizens fixed income. She would ask me to come help her wrap and we would share stories about Christmas while she baked a cake or a pie in the kitchen. They had a forced air furnace that burned oil and her entire house smelled so delectably warm and toasty. My house never gets that warm!

But it wasn't her jar of change and her gifts that made me feel like she kept Christmas in her heart. It was the smile she would share with her husband pointing out the ornament their youngest son (then 45) had made as a child on their tree. Showing me the hand painted snowman their great granddaughter had made. Smiling at how beautiful her multi colored tree had "turned out" and expressing surprise that it was "even prettier than the year before!" and the fact that all of her grown sons and her daughter traveled across the globe to share Christmas with her and her husband. Every year. She cooked a huge feast in her small kitchen, and sons, daughter, grandchildren and great grandchildren smashed so close together you would think they were vying for a seat at a 5 star restaurant just to get a plate of Eleanors food and visit with family. I loved visiting her late in the afternoon on Christmas Day and seeing the reminents of the mornings festivities- tattered gift wraps and ribbon lying about (she hated the pre-fab gift bags), cups of coffee and cocoa steaming on the furniture (without coasters!), and everyone commenting on what a lovely day it had been thus far. Brianna would bang on the piano and everyone would beg Eleanor to play.

I wasn't living next door to the Chapmans when her son called me in 1997 to tell me she had terminal cancer. Her daughter had flown out from California and her son from Ohio to stay with her until the end. Eleanor wanted to make sure everything was taken care of and tended to her own funeral preparations. She worried over where Gerald would go. And two days after the last day I visited her, she passed on quietly at home.

A couple months later, Gerald called me and asked if I could come by their home on my way through town. He said Eleanor had left something for me. Not sure what, I stopped by that week. It was a couple weeks before Christmas. And there on the table was a CHRISTMAS PRESENT. Wrapped in Eleanors clumsy way of tying off the bow, in right festive paper.

Gerald confided that she had spent her first month after her diagnoses Christmas shopping so that everyone would have a present from her that year even if she were not there to celebrate.

I nervously unwrapped my present and burst into tears and laughter when I saw it was a bottle of "Forever Crystal" perfume from the middle 80's. I have no clue where she found it. Shopping for over a dozen people with only coins from a large jar stored at your bank doesn't afford a person with much capital. It was the funniest tackiest gift anyone has ever gave me. And also the most loving. Because she really did adopt me into her family, and at a time when she knew she had very limited days left on this earth, she wanted me to have a special Christmas to. If the "thought is what counts" then hers was worth millions.

The bottle sits in a medicine cabinet at my mothers. Next to it is her half empty bottle of "Emerald" perfume which I asked for. One I occasionally open to remember her, and one I like to pull out and giggle about when I am feeling sentimental and wanting to keep Christmas in my heart.

Decorating

Thats the only picture I have on the computer of my celluloid santa collection on the Lincoln's Buffet. That primitive piece now belongs to my mother as we didn't have a niche for it here that displayed it well. This home is so bright and traditional that it looked chunky- where as before I always managed to find one little spot where I could have a country type vignette. At Christmas I love folksy things!

This past weekend we put up the outside lights and the big tree indoors. As well as lined up my entire collection of Santas on the mantle. I will have to take a picture of my tree to share, I am proud of it! But, I don't know if I will show you the lights or not...

I believe that Christmas decorating outdoors is primarily for Children- and the bits of the child that survived to adulthood in each of us. And I so remember sitting in the backseat of my parents car and driving around to look at lights each Christmas. Even the car itself was Christmasy- an old Pontiac with plush burgundy velvet seats! The outside was speckled with rust and my mom called her car "Freckles". She wouldn't trade it in because it was such a cozy ride! Each year we would venture out to popular neighborhoods in search of the BEST lights. My dad would carry a pen sized flashlight and put it on his nose and say he looked like Rudolph driving a Pontiac. My dad was such a dork. Remember the word "Dork"?

The BEST lights were the TACKY ones. Neon Orange thrown onto a tree, green on a shrub, multi colored blinking lights on a porch railing. The tackier the light display, the more "ooohs" and "aaahs" it garnered from my sister and I. We would ask my mom and dad to please oh please make several passes by those homes. And those classy all white numbers that shimmered in the "best" neighborhoods and cul de sacs? YUCK. Booooring.

We would end up driving through the neighborhoods populated by senior citizens (and their glorious older decorations), save one lone ritzy neighborhood where every year the home owner paid someone to decorate a 40 foot pine in the yard with multi colored strands.

So, I am the owner of a Tacky Christmas House. Our tall shrubs (like mini-trees) are strung with solid green and overtop that solid gold. The midsize shrubs have blue lights, and the ground covering has white lights. I am excited about a tree on the porch that I am putting multi colored blinkers on.

By the time I am through I am probably going to make neighbors wince at the spectacle we are creating. But, I also hope to make children in the backseats of their parents cars say "ah".

Babies update:

Ewan and Rowan have officially gave up their midnight bottle. They take their bottles at 8-9 p.m., then sleep until 3 a.m. YIPPEE! This is really giving my husband extra rest since before he would sit up to midnight with colicy ole Ewan (who is less colicy, too!) because the only way I would get any daily rest was to sleep from 8-midnight in ear plugs. I still go to bed about 9- but he can go to sleep earlier now too since the ear plugs aren't necessary to get decent slumber now.

I am getting a larger chunk of sleep in one resting, but less sleep overall since giving up the midnight bottle has made them very fussy and agitated from about 5-6 to 7. I LIKE sleeping until 7. *sighs*. I like the little bit of chill in the air, and snuggling back down into the blankets as Duane leaves for work and knowing I can sprawl out for an hour. Hmpfh. But, on the whole I am much more rested now- it might not be the sleep I like, but its good sleep. An added bonus is on weekend morning we take turns letting the other one sleep until about 8.

Rowan has become the projectile refluxer. He is like a little pukey timebomb. He gets this look in his eye then spews 6 ounces. ACK! I have started feeding him a little less at once and then returning to his bottle after Ewans and that seems to be helping.

They both smile all the time and Ewan tries to hard to talk that he gets exasperated with us, and then lets out a big heap of a "hmpfh" at us and sighs.

As far as Lucas and Matilda- we have given up documenting her vocabulary. She is off the charts developmentally there. She learns a new word or two daily. She knows what animals say, she expresses empathy, she tells you what episode of Mickey is her favorite- "Doctor Daisy", etc, etc, etc. Lucas... I just don't know. I ask him to say something and she over talks him. Today he ran past us as I was playing with a See and Say with Tilly and as I said "What does a cow say?" He yells out "Mooooooooo" as he dashes by. I hadn't heard him say that before and excitedly tried to get him to repeat it. I then asked him to tell me again and he growled at me. However he understands language. loves to play with his sister and his parents, so I need to stop comparing him to Tilly and just let him be Lucas.

Babies Special Pumpkin

Halloween picture

OK, here is Lucas and Tilly at Halloween.

Autumn pics

You would think from these pictures that I had an easy time photographing Lucas and Matilda, when the truth is I spent thirty minutes saying "Don't eat that!" and jerking leaves, dirt and grass out of their mouths. Boo. But, they sure made pretty pictures!

I am going to share some pictures this week of my sister in laws home, which is gorgeous. I had hoped my aunt would get to see it when she was visiting here, as she loves to decorate as much as I. Instead, she can view the pictures here on my blog.






Here is Lucas and Matilda at 12 weeks.



Rowan looks so much like Lucas. These were taken at 11 weeks. If Rowan had a tad more weight on him, they would look identical!



Rowan had his eye exam the same day Matilda had her cranial appointment. Good news for both babies! Rowan doesn't have cataracts. He is just severely nearsighted like me. The doctor said that this would cause the light to refract differently and he is guessing it is what confused my pediatrician. As far as Tilly, her sutures are OPEN so she won't need surgery, but, he doesn't anticipate her flat pancakey noggin to finish rounding out until she is around 15 years of age! With her personality the DOC Band would of been monsterous.

Ewan just looks like... EWAN! He doesn't favor Matilda in the least, but looks a teensy bit like Lucas... sometimes. He is the most unique in appearance. He has blonde lashes and eyebrows, and light hair, too. Maybe there is hope for a blue eyed boy, yet!



Here is little Ewan... SMILING! This is what a baby boy looks like who finally has some relief from reflux. We tried 5 different formulas (including those over priced 26 dollar a small can ones!) and none worked. We tried baby zantac and that didn't work. Last, we tried mine and everyone elses grandmothers cure for spit up issues- rice cereal. Bingo. Now he is a happy smiley boy.

House Guests, SCARY Babies, Smilie Babies

My aunt and uncle came to visit for two days last week! This is my favorite aunt, my mothers baby sister. My mom is one of four girls, and my father one of five children- and the only boy. I have many aunts, but, none as generous, kind and all around lovely as Mae.

They brought some of my things from West Virginia- like my Department 56 Halloween and Christmas Villages. We had a lovely dinner, and I had the dining room decorated for Autumn. I served a pork tenderloin in a mushroom cream marsala sauce, broiled asparagus, pineapple bread pudding (as another side to compliment the pork) and rolls. I made the applecake I shared below (yum!) for dessert and it worked as a lovely centerpiece too, I think. It was so nice o have family stay with us. I don't have much opportunity for entertaining, and am so thrilled when I am able to- especially for wonderful people. My aunt is very much like me in that she enjoys giving to people and making them feel special. It is nice to reciprocate!



A friend of mines 20 month old son learned the word "Scary" and uses it at times to avoid things he doesn't want to do. When they visited me a couple weeks back, he said that Lucas and Tilly were "scary" to avoid getting in their play yard with them. I mean, that *has* to be the explanation, because my children are NOT scary. They are sweet little angels who would never try and intimadate another baby.



Rowan has been flashing us the biggest gummiest smiles for a couple weeks now, but this is the first one I have managed to catch on camera. Ewan is still the "angry baby" with his colic, but he is on zantac now so we hope that will clear up soon and he will be just as smilie.



They had their 8 week check up on Wednesday. It certainly could of went better for Rowan. We are making him an appointment with a pediatric optometrist because the pediatrician thinks he has cataracts! Egad. It isn't as horrible as it sounds and I have learned they are fairly common in infants, but stressful none the less. Rowan just can't catch a break right now.

I will try and update again soon.

It's Here!

Just Desserts- A Sideboard of Sweet Temptations



My new issue, the very first new issue of Victoria Magazine arrived today!

Rowan hasn't had any Apnea episodes so far, and Ewan will see about reflux medicine this Wednesday.

Hope your magazines arrive soon- its WONDERFUL!

Apple Bundt Cake

First, if you visit my blog and don't see your blog listed on the left side of this page under "blogs to visit" will you respond in this post and tell me to add you? I definitely mean to add everyone who has visited so I can return the favor, but sometimes I forget!

A friend shared this cake with me Friday and its sooooo good! Its the best apple cake I have ever had. Here is the recipe.




Apple Bundt Cake
Bon Appétit December 1999
Amanda Denton, Barre, VT

"Whether it's served warm or cool, my mother's apple cake is the best I’ve ever tasted," says Amanda Denton of Barre, Vermont. "It's moist on the inside and has a beautifully browned crust. This recipe ranks right up there with love and support as the great things my mother gave me."

Servings: Makes 8 to 10 servings.

Ingredients:

4 medium Golden Delicious apples (about 1 1/2pounds), peeled, cut into 1/3-inch pieces
5 tablespoons plus 2 1/2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
4 large eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup orange juice
1 tablespoon grated orange peel
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups all purpose flour
3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Powdered sugar

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Oil and flour 12-cup Bundt pan. Mix apple pieces, 5 tablespoons sugar and ground cinnamon in medium bowl. Combine 2 1/2 cups sugar, eggs, vegetable oil, orange juice, orange peel and vanilla extract in large bowl; whisk to blend. Stir flour, baking powder and salt into egg mixture. Spoon 1 1/2 cups batter into prepared Bundt pan. Top with half of apple mixture. Cover with 1 1/2 cups batter. Top with remaining apples, then batter.

Bake cake until top is brown and tester inserted near center comes out with moist crumbs attached, about 1 hour 30 minutes (*note my friend said in her oven this cake is always done in 60 minutes). Cool cake in pan on rack 15 minutes. Run knife around sides of pan to loosen. Turn cake out onto rack. Cool at least 45 minutes. Dust with powdered sugar. Serve slightly warm or at room temperature.

Autumn decorating and first smiles!

This weekend I decorated our front porch for Autumn! I used fall leaf silk garland, pumpkins, yellow mums, and amber lights. It's so pretty in the evenings. In some ways I like autumn decor even better than Christmas. I use the amber lights on my Christmas tree, too.



Here is a closeup- this wreath stays up all year, I just tuck seasonally colored silk stems in it to match the holiday.



I received gifts from a "bloggy baby shower" yesterday! Genevieve, Debra from Bunnies Bungalow, and Laurie from Charming Designs sent me presents.



Debra sent me the sweetest cd's of storytimes and lullabys for the babies, along with some spa themed slippers for my feet.

Laurie sent me two of her birdies- a soft buttercup yellow, and that lovely shade of pink she creates!

Genevieve sent me two sleepers for the little twins to wear at 3 months, and her lovely daughters sent Lucas and Matilda two Gund "Dustys"... Genevieve didn't know it, ut this barking puppy is Matilda's favorite lovie. :-) Although hers is quite... ahem... CRUNCHY. *laughs* We managed to wrestle crunchy Dusty away and give her a new puppy while crunchy was washed.

"Dusty" is her puppys name because she can't say puppy. She says "Duddy". She also says that "Duddy" says "Meow". Hee, hee.

I appreciate my blogy friends so much for thinking of me, and celebrating with me. Thank you sooo much!

Manuela from the Feathered Nest also thought of me this past week- she sent me a stack of brand new magazines to enjoy during my quiet times- albeit rare time indeed, its all the more welcomed with a cuppa tea and a good magazine.




This may be the best picture I have taken of Lucas and Matilda. They were in the jogging stroller and we went for a nice walk last weekend while Duane stayed with the little twins. This is a lovely season for walking.



Here are Ewan and Rowan swinging away!



And a rare moment- I captured one of Rowan's first smiles. He smiles quite contently now when his tummy is full. Isn't that sweet?

Silly pictures of Ewan and Rowan

Ewan just can't take a good picture:




Duane calls this one "alien probe":



This is the only silly one we have of Rowan. He is fairly photogenic!

baby pictures!

I managed to post these pictures earlier today, and am editing to add comments about them!

The first picture is of Ewan. He is a very difficult baby to get a good picture of! He still has a skinny little face where he is so tall, he hasn't filled in yet. I remember Lucas and Matilda didn't look like "babies" until they were closer to 8-10 weeks old. Anyhow, in most of Ewans pictures he looks startled. Heh. He is a cutie, but Duane says "Ewan" the way Jerry Seinfeld used to say "Newman". Ewan is a cranky little fella and always the worst during Duanes shift (which coincides with the "colic hours" of 6-midnight).



Rowan is a happy little guy. Well, we *think* he is. All he does is eat and sleep. He doesn't get angry, he doesn't have any colic, he is an EASY baby. Easier than all the others have been. He is a good baby to have as a twin, because he is so laid back. He doesn't even spit up! We will have to see if this laid back newborn continues this way. He gets very angry though if he has to wait on his bottle!



OK, so, the little twins turned 5 weeks old on Friday, and I decided it was time to get out the infant swings. They are having longer periods of wake time, and, its good for them to be exposed to all the sights and sounds of daytime. Thus far these little twins have slept so well at bedtime- they only wake to eat. And, I think its because of how bright and noisey our home is during the day!

Well, we get the swings set up, and Lucas and Matilda wanted in them. Mind you, they haven't been in their swings for the last 5-6 months!!! They both had the best time. Fortunately they are right at the weight limit, so it was safe, too. You can see at first they looked sweet, then they started having fun. The last picture of Tilly wiht her legs in the air cracks me up!







As far as how I am doing... getting rest since the babies do sleep between feedings, but, still worn out. I am hoping Ewan and Rowan follow Lucas and Matilda and sleep through the 4 a.m. feeding early. Lucas and Matilda gave it up at 10 weeks, which is awesome for a preemie.

We have the siding and windows up for our family room remodel! YIPPEE! A play room! I am going to have a huge clear space when we move the playyard out into the family room (it will now be for the little twins) and have no idea what to do with the area in my living room once its free of baby toys. I would LOVE to have a loveseat on the wall there, but, we need a sofa for the play room first... I am not sure... when its atcually clear, I will post a picture and get advice.

P.S., I feel like I am going brain dead. I think its all the poopie diapers (550 a month). So, I bought some used paperbacks off of ebay- Donald Bain's Murder She Wrote books (one of my favorite "comfort food" t.v. shows). I am excited about the first two "Trick or Treachery" and "A Little Yuletide Murder". The holiday theme should make them a fun read, and these two are set in "Cabot Cove".

"Dabies"

I haven't had time to update, but wanted to share...

Ewan and Rowan have gained well- better than Lucas and Matilda did- and I have lost well. Lucas and Matilda are enjoying the new "toys" we brought home, and Tilly calls her brothers "Dabies". I will try and post pictures this weekend!

Longing for Autumn

Yesterday I was driving to the grocery store when it occurred to me that very soon, in my native rural West Virginia, the trees would begin showcasing their jewel like tones in celebration of autumn. The air would be crisp, and it would be the perfect time for hiking along the mountain trails I have known for so many years, and enjoying the crunch of maple and oak leaves beneath my feet. I enjoy these walks alone the best, allowing time for introspection and daydreams. Its my way to renew myself, and visit with memories. M favorite is a hike on the ridge near my grandparents farm- approaching the ridge ever so slowly, letting the breeze rush up the side of the mountain and greet me like an old friend. From here I can see all the hills and valleys of the small town where my parents, grandmothers, sister, aunts, and cousins reside. Taking the sentimental journey along the path of autumn, the time when vegetation begins to change and pass away, remembering those who have also passed away- like my beloved grandfather who enjoyed the stillness of gardening as much as I. I have resolved many problems along this hike, and found respite from daily stresses with a quick morning jaunt here. I have never lived so far from the ridge that I couldn't drive there and park my car at my grandparents for a thirty minute walk in the a.m. before work, or in the p.m. before dinner with my parents. My dog, Mr. Smith, knows this ridge as well as I, and would stop at the top of the hill while I walked down and looped the big acorn tree. He would roll over on his back and "Swim" in the leaves until I turn and make my way back up the ridge after gathering a pocket full of acorns for homemade potpourri. Mr. Smith has been walking here for 13 years- as long as he has been alive. We both would stop and enjoy the coolness of the air, then head back toward my grandfathers to pick grapes off the vine. Dogs can't eat grapes- but I sure could.

My mother told me yesterday that this is the first year in 50 that my grandmother wouldn't be making grape jelly. At 87, she says she is too tire to make any.

And I now live 7 hours away from the ridge that has beckoned me for long walks and quiet reflection since I was a teenager.

So, yesterday was a somewhat sad day, and I felt homesick. Who would of thought a trip to Starbucks could change my attitude?

I stopped there to get a light venti decaf caramel frap, and instead left with their autumn pumpkin pie frap. I drank half on the way home, and froze the other half until this morning. And then, when all the babies were sleeping, and my husband is sleeping, I thawed out my frap and have been reading autumn articles at Southern Living online. I have been looking at pumpkin recipes and debating when to make my first gingerbread. I did twenty minutes of yoga. And while I am not outdoors walking along my favorite ridge with my favorite dog, I do feel that even an hour while babies nap is an opportunity to enjoy introspection. It is these stolen moments that will sustain me when everyones crying and quiet can't be found. And of course, I can visit the ridge again and again in my mind, shutting my eyes and imagining all the scents and sounds I know so well beckoning me from right here in my living room.

So, this isn't a baby post. This is a post just about myself, written when I had some moments to myself. And here are some lovely autumn images to accompany it.

Ewan and Rowan (added details)

Here are the details:

Ewan: baby A weighed 4 pounds 14 ounces .33 and was 18 inches long

Rowan: baby B weighed 4 pounds 15 ounces .75 and was 17 3/4 inches long

They were born in the very same minute! I think Ewan is 15 seconds older. The ob had a hard time recalling who she pulled out first!

As most of you guessed, I had the babies. 36 weeks 1 day! I wasn't in labor, I kept having incision pain and the ob on call was afraid I was near uterine rupture. I was *not*- the pain was Rowan pressing on my incision with his head, hee hee. However, it ended being a really really GOOD thing that we delivered. Ewan (on the left) was born with torticollis- being engaged for an extended period of time meant he was unable to turn his head, and it became locked in one position and one side of his neck and facial muscles could not develop properly. My husband calls him "Baby Smooshie" and I cal him "Mr. Magoo". However, some at home physical therapy by us will fix this fairly quickly (Lucas had very mild torticollis, but nothing like this, the nurses actually prepared us before allowing us to see Ewan!).

The pediatrician saw him Wednesday and said he was relieved and glad we delivered when we did, because Ewans jaw bone (mandible) had not been effected, and he felt that had I carried him even a brief amount of time longer, we would be seeing some major problems.

The babies roomed with me, are good eaters, and we all came home Monday.

I am a bit sleep deprived, so excuse the short update!

*edit, I can't believe I was to tired I put Rowans middle name in the subject field! I have never posted my twins middle names online, for their protection (because I can link to my blog a million different ways from google). However, if anyone who regularly reads my blog wanted to know their middle names, just shoot me an email.

ob appointment

I had my 36 week ob appointment yesterday... they put me on the tokos monitor and I was having ZERO irritability or contractions. I mean this- NADA. I had stronger contractions last week and in the L&D. Heck, stronger contractions at 19 weeks last pregnancy! I am a little confused... also, the last two nights I have been doing aerobics. Duane leaves the room, I think its frightening. Ha, ha. I have all this energy and feel great so everyone thinks I am nesting for real, but, I am only 1 cm dilated and nothing is progressing... I am just enjoying having this splurt of energy for whatever it means or is worth as I have felt immobile for the longest time and I am the type of person who when having to give up their control and rely on others feels depressed with the degree of helplessness that I experience.

The ob was a bit peeved that L&D tried to talk me into a vbac. She said that had they succeeded, she would of spent the next hour talking me back out of it. She said that my uterus is already stretched further than last pregnancy, and that rupture was a real concern and wasn't necessarily associated with the length or strength of labor and having babies at the right station didn't mean it wouldn't happen if I was allowed to labor. It didn't help that my c-section hot spots and my scar have been hurting me lately. If it increases or becomes stronger, she said I am to report to L&D ASAP and they would be sectioning me immediately.

I owe some thank yous- first to the lovely bloggers who have been following my pregnancy and sending me the nicest comments of support even though I have not been keeping up with others blogs as well as I would like.

To Heidi who sent me the most thoughtful and adorable baby gifts- little Dutch onesies! They are so cute, and my husband loved them, too!

And to Genevieve for creating the "Nice Matters" award which I received from her as well as some of my other favorite bloggers. I am supposed to pass this along to seven people, and I feel *guilty* just choosing 7 because IMO EVERYONE I have met since beginning to blog has been NICE and I am afraid I would leave someone out. So, I am going to be a bit rebellious and say that EVERYONE is nice, and that anyone visiting my blog should embrace this award and all that it means to be compassionate, kind, and well.... nice!

nesting and ready for babies!

Well, we had a false alarm on Thursday and I was soooooo embarrassed. Called my MIL, had baby sitters here, and lugged my suitcase over to the hospital thinking I was in labor. They put me on the Tokos and said "You are in PAIN?" I turned to look at it and it wasn't even spiking above 25!!!

Last time, I just woke up in the middle of night, turned to Duane and said "It's time". Now here I am in a second pregnancy and running to the L&D for uterine crankiness. Hee, hee. However, I did get a plausible response for all my issues to date- when the doctor checked my cervix she was surprised to find Twin A at "+2 Station". This is normally associated with being *more* than 5 cm dilated and in very active labor, though I am only fingertip dilated, 70% effaced and not in labor. She said all the downward pressure and the pubic diastasis has made for very painful uterine cramping- though its not laborious. They gave me a shot of terbutaline to see if it would halt the contractions and it did for an hour and then they came back. However, the L&D bed had a "pillow" you could fluff up under your bottom and it pushed the baby back to station +1 for the time I was in the hospital and that felt soooooo good! The baby dropped back to station +2 as soon as I stood up. Hmpfh!

And then comes the dilemma... my last pregnancy was a c-section- mandated because of the fact that Lucas was deemed having "intrauterine growth restriction" in the womb- a condition that means that for some reason the babies abdomen isn't maturing properly and growing at the rate the rest of the body is, and is often associated with a placenta dying off. On top of that, he had an irregular heartbeat. So, it was agreed by all that he not be made to go through the rigors of labor and I had a c-section. Once he was born, we realized that he was fine... he's just built like his daddy- lanky! Ha! And to be even more honest here... I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of two labors in one day as sometimes there is a several hour gap in delivering twins and with Tilly not being engaged that was a possibility. EEEEK! Plus... I am a wimp. There, I said it. I get horrified just watching birthing shows, and often my face turns bright pink when viewing them.

So, this pregnancy we were told from the start that because of the proximity of my last pregnancy VBAC was )O-U-T and we would be having another c-section to avoid the possibility of uterine rupture on scar tissue that may have not properly healed from the last section. And we have stuck with this the entire time... but here we are 2 weeks before my scheduled c-section and the Doctor on call from my practice shakes her head when she finds out we are having a c-section. When she left I asked the nurse why, and she said that I was an L&D dream come true with two babies engaged and one already at +2 station. That I would have a practically painless quick delivery with how separated by pubic bones are, with the fact that I do not carry large twins. Both my mother and sister had natural deliveries (no pain meds) and it seems to run in our family that we have this pubic diastasis. So, there may be some truth in this.

ACK!!!

Duane freaked and said there was no way he would want me doing VBAC, that YES twin A might be a quick delivery, but there was nothing preventing twin B from turning afterwards and going breech and my winding up with two deliveries- one vaginal, one section. The truth is, only 15% of twin deliveries wind up being one vaginal and one c-section, but the prospect isn't very exciting! I then spoke to my mother and she also freaked and said to stay with the surgery. Duane said if I were carrying a singleton I would have his full support, but with twins he wanted to obide by the original recommendation. We both did alot of research last pregnancy and did read that with twins a c-section is safer for Baby B. That while Baby A seems to not have any increased risks, its hard for Baby B to go through the rigors of labor- twice. Once for the birth of their sibling, then for their own birth. Duane reminded me of this as well.

It just seems like such a waste to have a body that is actually prepared for an easy delivery, and still have the section. One of my friends is an L&D nurse and she emailed me this morning and concurred with the L&D physician on call that this would be a very easy delivery. Ack. I am just as wimpy as before, but just thinking that a vaginal recovery would be sooooo much easier than a c-section when I have babies at home already to care for. This is what my friend said as well. Her twins were sectioned. I will talk to my doctor tomorrow and get her thoughts...

Here is the remodeled guest room- you can see the little twins cribs up under the window. Lots of sunshine for the wee ones!



This is me at 34 weeks at my shower. My friend Tonya made the diaper cake. Isn't it cute? I had a difficult time finding an outfit to fit for the shower... I tend to stay in maternity dresses to keep anything from touching my abdomen, but, I also need to sit with my legs up ("Indian Style") to keep weight off my pelvis and thats much easier in pants. I wound up wearing a set of brown capris that I really have outgrown, and this blouse which my tummy hung out the bottom of. And everyone keeps saying how small I am. Well, small everywhere but my abdomen! Its huge!



I have been cleaning like mad and have had a burst of energy, so now Duane can't sleep at night thinking its the "Calm before the storm". I don't know if I am nesting officially or not- theres so much that needs to get done!

I am going to try and catch up on blogs today, I sure have missed everyones entries!