Tender Tilly

I have read that separation/stranger anxiety usually starts around 6-7
months. Well, our Tilly started this at 4 months.

She no longer allows anyone but Duane and I to old her. Whats strange
is shes NOT a clingy baby in general. She only wants to be held if she
is bounced at the same time on your knee, or for about 15 minutes
following her bottles. The rest of the time shes extremely
independent, unlike Lucas whose snuggley.

If anyone- even people she should somewhat know talks to her, she
laughs and coos and giggles. But, if they try and pick her up, she
screams something terrible, and cries huge crocodile tears until given
back to Duane or me.

Also, she startles easily. If Duane sneezes when he holds her, she
screams and cries. If we laugh loudly when holding her, she screams
and cries. Both of us have soft voices, so its not like we are ear
piercing.

Today, Duane was playing with her, and for the first time, started
speaking fluently in spanish to her. THIS made her scream and cry. She
didn't stop until Duane started speaking english again.

Will she grow out of this??? Is this normal??? My mom said both my
sister and I refused to let anyone else hold us... Lucas, on the other
hand, loves to be held by anyone with a set of arms and a warm smile.

And about cosleeping:

This is how I feel. I don't sleep well when not in the room with the
babies. I sleep better and more rested with them. Their little
inhalations, their sweet scent, the way they touch me (or kick me in
the back!)- really, I feel they are spoiling *me*. Its the best
feeling in the world.

cosleeping, etc

Lucas and Matilda have been in our
room for the past two months (Before we all three slept in the living
room), and they are about to transition out of their cradles and
either to their cribs or our bed. We've already been putting them into
our bed about 4 a.m. when they start wanting their pacifyers every
twenty minutes. Our babies have no problems getting themselves to sleep, or putting
themselves back to sleep. Its all the paci. If they don't have a paci
stuck in their mouths when they begin to rouse in the early a.m., they
start waking up, then they scream for it *which wakes up the other twin*. At this point we aren't willing to do CIO, so its
either climbing out of bed and to the crib every twenty minutes, or,
just letting them into our bed. The crib will also be put in our room.
Either we cosleep in the same room, or we will all share a bed. We use
sleep positioners when they are in the bed with protective bolsters at
their hips to prevent them or us from rolling over.

BTW, anyone who hears we want to cosleep, says "You are going to spoil
them". In what way? My sister coslept with her son until he was 15
months old, and my aunt co-slept with my grandma. Neither were
spoiled, but both confident, secure, independent and very loving
children and adults. I do not feel that meeting their needs spoils them.

I had been letting the twins swing and watch baby
einstein one half hour a day while I prepared dinner.Then I read the
AAP stuff. Now I only let them listen to music choice classical music
or holiday music. But, when *I* watch t.v., Lucas will turn and try to
see it, so I am wondering if I should just keep it on classical music
all day.

What about toys? Right now we have a lot of interactive battery toys,
and I am considering going against all battery toys. I really don't
buy all this "think up" crap. None of the toys I see for young
children seem geared toward imagination. Everything is push a button
and tell type stuff. What happened to lincoln logs and little
people??? Plus, I think if we rely on battery toys, it will mean less
interaction as right now I am down on the floor with them in play
whenever they are playing. I don't want them staring at a screen
playing alone... I want them to be active and outdoorsy like Duane and
I were as children.

My babies are NEVER still. They would NEVER sit and watch their
mobile. Ack! They won't even swing anymore unless they are exhausted.
They hate car seats, they hate strollers. The only way we can shop
with them is in snuglis. We bought an exersaucer, and they are too
small for it so we prop them in with pillows, and they do like this
for twenty minutes. Basically, they are with me all day long. Me
singing to them, showing them toys, etc. The only time I am not
playing with them is when they sleep! I can't even imagine putting
them in daycare, I am certain they would require two daycare workers
constant attention. Both also want to move constantly. Matilda won't
sit on my lap unless she is being bounced up and down constantly.
Lucas wants to snuggle, but he wants you to walk around while you do
it. My mom says I was the same way, that I exhausted her and my father
with movement and action. My twins hate rocking and won't sit on my
lap and be rocked to sleep. :-(

The upside is they are both good at going down for naps and sleep.
They are so exhausted- I lay them down wide awake, and they are out in
ten minutes tops.

I really don't think we created this situation- Duane and I are both
very active, too.

Back to baby einstein... from what I have heard/read, what the AAP
says is that the constant movement and action of childrens television
rewrites the childs brain pathways. Babies are meant to study things
slowly and observe slowly, but childrens television moves too quickly,
so their minds "speed up" to try and adapt to it. This results in less
attention spans.

Well, once I read this I started studying childrens television and I
noted that t.v. does move way too quickly (we need mr. rogers
neighborhood tapes!), and the only thing I have found that moves at a
snails pace *is* baby einstein. I do not feel its going to make me
babies braniacs (nor do I care about that aspect), but Julie does show
them things at a similar pace as I would.

Baby Shakespeare is my favorite. *I* would watch it. I love the poetry
in it, and she has a soothing voice. Plus, this is the ONLY time the
babies will just "swing" if its on. However, we are down to them only
watching t.v. one half an hour every other day- except that I do watch
Spike during the day, so Lucas will crane his head to watch Star Trek.
Atleast the pace is slow???

I swear, when Duane gets home from work on weekdays, I am ready to
collapse. I feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. More
now than I did in the first three months.