no more breastfeeding

The pumping is over I guess. *sighs* The other night both Lucas and
Matilda had a very stressful night because the peditrician wanted to
cut back their mylecon dosing. I went over 12 hours without pumping
and never had engorgement or pain and when I pumped I got about three
drops. If I could be aggressive I think I could at least get back to
where I was last week getting one ounce a day, but it seems to
pointless. In spite of having more time for the babies and knowing the
neosure is a good formula I feel the heaviest guilt. I don't even
understand it, but its there. I do feel like we tried. I just think I
would of tried HARDER had there been in fruits to my efforts. My MIL
was here this week and after I pumped for twenty minutes she saw what
I carried into the kitchen and said "Oh Lizzie, you worked twenty
minutes for THAT?" She wasn't being cruel either- she wasn't able to
breast feed any of her children. Being mexican, she had a lot of
pressure to do so and tried with all three of her daughters to nurse.

I am trying to switch the twins to a four hour schedule. They haven't
been waking up for there three hour feedings, so we decided to see if
they could do well on four hours. We will track what they consume and
make sure they make up for the two extra bottles they will lose on a
four hour feeding schedule.

We still haven't made "contact". They seem to look through us. Ha!
However, both are starting to be more responsive to us. When we pick
them up to eat, they stop crying if they had been. They anticipate
their bottles and get excited. They are very alert and also lift their
little heads now. Cute! Matilda gets so excited when we burp her that
she tries to chomp on her burping cloth while waiting for the bottle.
Lucas entertains as always with his cute expressions.